The Mumbai vs Delhi debate is done. Or so we thought. It is back, three bananas short of a fruit basket, a cocoa puff of never-ending nothingness with Fabulous Lives vs Bollywood Wives. Surely, the lens has shifted. And if anyone asks. Yes, Shalini Passi wins. The cities are merely bread on the sideboard. It is Passi vs Plebs all the way.

But the cities, Mumbai and Delhi, do crop up with their multicultural karmas to stir the debate only this time, with Reality TV walking into the drama in Louboutin-soled heels. One thing is certain, there is no place for indifference in their energy-wrapped rivalry. It nudges you to go into the dialectic of what frames them. If Delhi is ishq mohabbat pyaar with fixers, brokers, middlemen, meddle-ness, sprawling gardens, tombs, politics, chaat, bureaucracy, power and chana bhatura thrown into the mix; Mumbai is a fast, dense mass of walkers, dreamers, financers, buildings, slums, vada pav, cutting chai, seaside promenades, queues, stars, industrialists and idlers negotiating with limited space zara hatke zara bachke for it is Bombay meri jaan. If you stop moving, you might cease to exist.

Mumbai, as we know it, was born to Urbs Prima in Indis, the Latin phrase meaning the first city of India. Delhi was born to power for it was said that ‘whoever ruled Delhi, ruled India’.

Slowly, the cities took shape. The seven, separate, amorphous islands, named Heptanesia by Ptolemy in CE 150, were joined by a series of land reclamation projects to shape Bombay. On the other hand, Delhi became a site for seven cities when its rulers, belonging to different dynasties, built their capitals in different parts of the city rather than rule from an existing one. The romance of seven reigned over the geography, Mumbai went linear and Delhi circular. This has shaped how people in the two cities view space. (See image 1 and 2).

Delhi has space and flaunts it. Tree-lined roads with footpaths and VIP vibes turn into circles that meet grand bungalows, farmhouses, sprawling parks and heritage precincts. And outside is the NCR region with more room to grow. Mumbai space comes at a premium. One has to squeeze dreams into every square foot. To be ‘Made in Mumbai’ is a thing. Rents and dreams are often shared by youngsters who flock to the city to become ‘a star or someone’.

In Delhi, everyone is a someone already. Everyone has a baap who has their back. Mumbai has the godlier bappa to turn to ten days a year and once it had the bhais who dominated the rokda and dhando in the city, giving it the unofficial ‘Mumbhai’ moniker. And no one does Jai Mata Di better than Delhi. The city is serious about its chowkis where faith meets the eat, pray, love, dance and make merry vein that runs through Delhiwaalas. In this familial setting of the maa, baap and bhai, it’s the sistahs who get the raw deal. (Image 3)

It is where Delhi cuts and burns. Let’s face it, the city has never been safe for women in public places, thanks to gun-toting, muscle-flexing, drunk on machismo men a la sexual pressure-cookers. Mumbai is relatively safer because women in public places are not seen as an anomaly but part and parcel of the city on the move. Traditionally, Koli men went to sea, while the women took the catch to the markets to sell, haggling fiercely in a male-dominated space and bringing moolah back to the house. Their independence and spirit echo through Mumbai’s metropolitanism.

However, women in both cities are stuck in stereotypes. Mumbai has always had Sandra from Bandra, a term loosely used by Mumbaikars for a Catholic Bandra girl who is educated, works in an office, wears midis with legs on display and likes to sing and dance. Sweety is the garrulous, pretty, food-loving Delhi girl who switches between accents, pairi-paunas and pegs, salwar kurtas and minis with ease. She knows what it takes to be a bandi—bragging rights and abuses included. (Image 4)

The stereotype extends to high society in a fashion face-off—couture vs cool. The show Fabulous Lives vs Bollywood Wives showcases this. Passi, Saha, Kapoor, the Delhi socialites in the show, scream opulence. They dress to impress in bold jewellery, coordinated outfits and bags and an unapologetic ‘more is more’ philosophy. Their Mumbai counterparts (Bollywood Wives) harp on cool, effortless chic, often mocking Dilli entrants for being over the top. The truth is, both have a diva complex, except one wears careful-casual, laidback air and the other is unmissable and in your face.

Delhi isn’t just about being bling and flamboyance. It is deeply loyal to its staples: butter chicken, chaat, momos and lassi. Mumbai loves its vada pav, pav bhaji and cutting chai. It’s a battle of indulgence: Mumbai’s food scene is as fast-paced as its locals. It has the khanevals—the quick thali meal eat ins—but Delhi has the real khane-khilanewaale who keep time, appetite and menus ready for indulgence. Even Maheep Kapoor agrees! Chana-Bhatura anyone? (Image 5)

The pull of Mumbai is not on its plate but the fact that you are always a tapri away from star sighting. The Hindi film industry, better known as Bollywood, is the real draw. Mumbai, often grey or a tad-patri blue, borrows its shine and sparkle from them. Delhi loves Bollywood too. There is a capital interest in the filmy gup and glam but from its own corner of power. After all, it does embody the idea of a city as a nation with Indian bureaucracy, political system and connections at the centre. For a Dilliwaala, the line starts from where they stand. No thanks to AB Sr. for immortalising the lines on screen, the feelings belong to Delhi. (Image 6)

When it comes to weather, Delhi has summers, a dreamy spring and winters which were much-celebrated earlier but come with severe AQI levels and smog today and hot summers. Mumbai, on the other side, has two hot and humid summers and monsoons that are wrapped in romance with a side of water logging and occasional flooding.

Romance. It jumps terraces in Delhi colonies and finds benches in clean, green, often historic gardens of the city. It breaks into poetry rooted in history, tradition and legacy of luminaries like Zauq, Zafar and Ghalib. Delhi speaks Sufi. The bais-khwaja-ki-chaukhat city is home to a thriving culture of Sufism since the 12th century, adding a mystical element to love and the narrative of the city. In Mumbai, romance turns its back on the world and sits facing the sea—that’s the only way one can afford intimacy and anonymity. The love language is more contemporary. It is a melange of Hindi, Gujarati, Marathi, Urdu, English and tapori, best described by the author Salman Rushdie with an acronym, Hug-me! (Image 7)

In Sufi or Hug-me, both cities make allowances. They know their filmy from fabulous. And while we are watching the high-heeled city antakshri being played out on our screens with Fabulous Lives vs The Bollywood Wives, Delhi is busy comparing severe AQI levels and Mumbai is screaming ‘spirit’ from one of the high-rises for its ground reality is really dug-up! And if anyone asks, Bengaluru wins.

Shriti K Tyagi is the founder of Beyond—A niche travel collective that engages people with the past and present of Mumbai and Delhi